Once upon a time,
there was a girl named Marie. She lived in small village. Her parents passed
away when she was 15th years old and she has a part time job which
is to finance her life. In her school, she was being mocked by her friends
because before her parents passed away her family was a rich family and after
her parents passed away she didn’t have anything again. Her house was
confiscated by debt-collector and she had to live in a small house near the
river. She didn’t have anything besides four dolls which is given by her mom.
She loved that dolls very much and she always tells about anything to that
dolls. She did that because she thought that, that dolls became her family.
Marie is humble and hardworking person. She didn’t get angry eventhough her
friends mocked her.
One day, when Marie
was asked by her friends to buy some snacks by use Marie’s money, Marie
rejected it. Marie’ friends got angry and they pushed Marie until she fell
down. Immediately, came four handsome boys that helped Marie to get up. All of Marie’s
classmates shocked, they thought where did they come. Not only Marie’s
classmates who shocked, but Marie too. While she was thinking who they were,
those four boys made Marie’s naughty friends frozen and behaved strangely by
using their magic power. When Marie looked at them and tried to find what
happened, one of those four boys asked Marie to shut up for a while. After
those boys made Marie friends behaved strangely, they told Marie to follow them
to the rooftop. At there, they introduced themselves. The one who always wears
headphones named Jay. The other one who has blonde hair named Mark. The other
boys who has a sixpack body named Jackson. And the last one who has a
charismatic face named Justin. When Marie asked them where did they come, they
just smile and said that they had known Marie for a long time. Marie confused
because of their statement and Marie ignored them.
When Marie went home
after did her part time job, she found that Justin and friends were sleeping on
her bed. She shocked, how did they get there? When she asked them what were
they doing, they said that they were relaxing at their own house. Marie
confused because that house has already been occupied by her for a long time.
When Jackson looked that Marie was thinking about something, he said “ Don’t
you remember us? We always sleep together at the same bed every night!”. After
hear that, Marie said “ What do you mean by that? Are you stalking me? If yes I
will report you to the police!”. Mark answer “It is okay Marie if you can’t
remember us now but maybe later you will remember who us. Please, don’t report
us to the police”. Marie felt sorry for them and she decided to let them stayed
at her house but the requirement was they had to sleep separate from her room.
One day at her
school, there was a boy named Junior. Marie liked him, because he has a baby
face and he was very cute. There was any reason why did she liked him, that was
because she thought that she has already seen him in her dream. Two days later,
there was an event in the school yard. It was very crowded at there. When Marie
came to see that event, she met Junior but she too nervous to greet him and
unnoticed by Marie, Jackson saw Marie’s strange behavior. Immediately, Jackson
pushed Marie and accidentally Marie fell down and fell on Junior’s chest.
What do you think about
my next part of this story? Are you curious? So, wait for me guys. See you!
Interesting story, mostly like a story on girls' comic who dream of their "dream prince". Keep up your work!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jeremy! I haven't read that comic yet hehe
DeleteNice story, I am curious what happen after Marie fell on her Junior's chest. You can make your story like real. Be careful about your grammar and keep improving! Take care!
ReplyDeleteThank you Fani!
DeleteGood story, La! I like the way you wrote the story. Can't wait to read the next part. Keep improving :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Nia!
DeleteCool! I liked fantasy story very much and the idea of the story is good.
ReplyDeletePay attention on your punctuation and don't make one sentence too long. hehehe..
May I suggest u something? in the line, "remember who us." maybe it is better to use "remember who we are".. Thank u and keep working! :)
Thank you Tyta! I will pay attention for the punctuation at my story hehe, I will fix it!
ReplyDeleteThat is a romantic story that make me jealous :D
ReplyDeleteBe consistent with your punctuation lala.
For example this sentence “It is okay Marie if you can’t remember us now but maybe later you will remember who us. Please, don’t report us to the police”.
Take the dot before quotation mark.
keep improving lalala! :D
wahaha thankyou yunita! I will fix that ^0^
ReplyDelete